For Real.

Jami wants honest. So honest is what she will get.

I have a picky eater. Beyond picky. He makes him self throw up. Sometimes daily. Sometimes weekly. But always monthly. It's gross. It drives me to insanity. Like today when he was eating a sandwich he normally loves. He saw some wheat (he calls it a seed). And you guessed it. He made it to the toilet. Yesterday I wasn't so lucky.

I have a child who should be potty trained. She could care less. And will literally sit all day in "no-no's". I only find out if someone happens to walk downwind of her. It really gross. She pooped in her pants 4 times. Two days ago. Never told me. I had to find out each time the hard way. Blah. So now today she has the diaper rash of all rashes. The skin is peeling off. It's bad. She screams. I want to pull my hair out. Or maybe hers. Why can't I get it through her head, that this would be solved going on the potty.

I have a baby who won't sleep through the night. Last night was really bad. To top it off she woke up two hours earlier than normal. She's cranky. And so am I. I want to go hide in my closet. With a pillow. And a blanket. Maybe take up sucking my thumb. Don't judge. It might work!

My kids wrecked the front room in less than two minutes. It will take at least an hour to clean. Add that to my 7 baskets of laundry to fold. Two bathrooms and a kitchen to clean. I am dreaming big to think it will all happen today.

Then, I wanted just a few minutes to myself. Busted out my zumba dvd's. And gave my 9 month old baby part of a chocolate chip cookie. Gasp. (The other two didn't have get anything like that until their smash their first birthday cake). I am desperate here people. Good news that darn cookie kept her quiet. Bad new, I didn't put her in her highchair. And another point goes to me. . . for awesome mom of the year. What a mess. Yay! More cleaning.

So I clean up the mess on the floor, turn around to get baby, and she is eating moon sand off the kitchen floor. Did I mention my kitchen table is a sand box right now (so you can imagine what under the table looks like) I take her to the bathroom, wash her off, and guess what. . . she wasn't eating sand. She had a toy penny in her mouth. EVEN MORE AWESOME.

I have tried to put my cranky baby to bed twice. She's not having it. My kids have been in time out twice for fighting. And it's barely lunch time.

Oh and I just looked at my piano. The kids covered it in play doh. And Ainsley is coloring all of her toys with permanent marker. That's what I get for trying to work out. It's a conspiracy I tell ya. To keep me nice and fluffy. I's it too much to ask to have a rockin' hot body when I turn 30 this year. Ya know, start off my 30's with a bang. (Okay I don't care about the smokin hot bod. . . but I really really do want to feel healthy and strong!) Apparently for the kids it is too much to ask.


To top it off I am in my pajamas. Not just any pj's. Christmas ones. With a non matching purple top. It's really quite attractive. I figure if I am going to have a tough day, might as well do it in comfort. I just feel bad for the ups man that had to see me looking so put together. . .

I may not get mother of the day award. But I think I should be considered. I mean haven't raised my voice once today, even if I have wanted to a few times. And I am not in my closet, with the bedroom door locked, sucking my thumb. That should count for something, right?

All I have to say is thank goodness Ground Hog day is only a movie.

ps. Sorry to let ya'll down. I know you thought my family was perfect. You aspired to be just like us. (Bwhahaha. Wouldn't that be funny.) Just trying to keep it real here folks. Don't hate.


Bethanne said...

Okay, seriously, I am such weak sauce that I would've ended up in the closet. Brooke, I'm so sorry. I know we all have those days, but in theory it really doesn't make us feel any better to know it. Motherhood is hard. Sometimes I wonder if my head will fall off from all the hats I need to wear. Good thing I have a good husband to listen to me cry or put a blanket on me as I have fallen asleep (again) with my work computer on my lap. And good thing I love my kids SO darn much. Otherwise, that closet is looking SO nice. :)

Lindsey said...

Did you use to rub your nose with your pointer finger when you would suck your thumb...because that was the image that popped into my head : )
I like that you can have a crazy day like this, but still manage to make it sound HILARIOUS with your writing.
P.S. My mini me looks AWESOME covered in chocolate. Seriously, I think you stole my child!

Amanda said...

WHAT A DAY! You WIN:) I hope tomorrow is much much better. I loved the honesty though.

Michayle said...

You are so winning the mom of the year award just for not raising your voice! Way to go! I once awarded it to Tiffani Nelson for making it through her husband's master's graduation, during which her son had explosive diarreah which affected her shirt and his and she washed him off in one of the stadium bathroom sinks! Moms don't get enough credit for what they go through and you are having a tough time. I think you are awesome! You are brave! And you tell your stories so well : )

Jami Nato said...

this is funny to me...LOL...is that mean to laugh. looks like my life. :) thanks for being honest!

Shellbells said...

love this...well not the crap you got dumped with in one morning but the raw truth...you go girl...chin up...I will award you patience and control award cause if this was in my house today there would definately be a raised voice or two...xxx

Kim Skinner said...

thanks for keeping it real. tomorrow will be better. hopefully. :)

Teddy said...

I love this post! And I loved reading your friend Jami's too. So awesome, so made me smile...it was a look into my own life. Mother's are amazing, Mother's hold up the world even though it seems to be falling down all around them. I keep telling myself that. Love you Brooke.

Arnett's said...

You are amazing and thank you. My life is like that everyday and sometimes I think mine is the only one like that.

katherine said...

Sorry this comment is going to be long. However, I think 2 Sister Hinckley quotes are appropriate in response to this post/motherhood in general.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."


"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

Brooke you are really LIVING girl. You are moving mountains raising children and you won't see the view until they're much older. As Sophie is approaching 12 this week I can assure you things get better (in certain areas and worse in others :P) However I just want to let you in on a little secret you are beautiful and wonderful and oh so smart for going through all of this right now. And if I were there I'd have your kids help me bake cookies and have them do Latin Dance workouts with me, cause girlfriend that's what you did for me when I was in this stage of life and it helped me out sooooo much! Why can't we be neighbors?! Love you cuz--you are the epitome of AWESOME! Motherhood is not for weaklings!

Adriane said...

Oh Brookie Wookie!! I know I can't say anything that has credibility in the motherhood realm..not being a mom and all yet. BUT I can say that you are a real trooper and wonderful mother! Those kids will grow up one day and realize how much their mom loves them. They probably won't remember the specific times they stained the carpet, left poopy pants all over the house, wrecked your nice things, etc. ect. But they will have kids one day and will think "Oh, my poor mother! Now, I KNOW what I put her through!!"

Hang in there cuz.

Lots of love,

emily said...

okay is it bad that i'm laughing at the cookie picture?

i mean, come on. that is hilarious.

LaFish said...

Oh Gurllll!! Sounds like we need to do another girls night. Sometimes I feel like moms should get hazard pay for some of the stuff our kids put us through:) Want to run away with me in my mini-van? :) Let me know what night works for you and we'll get a "posse" together and hide from our children for a couple of hours at La Madeleine!!

Chelsea said...

Not raising your voice....truly truly envious lady!!!!!!!!
And who else could get such great pictures from a disaster? Only you and your sweet skillz!!!!!

Michelle said...

haha...i love that you call it "no-nos" and i swear ainsley has this devilish chocolatey grin...that cracks me up!!

Lyndsay Winters said...

Brooke, I think we have only met in person like twice...a long time ago. But, I can tell you for sure that if we lived closer to one another, we would be good friends. The kind that hang out and swap kids for sanity breaks. I love your blog. You are the real deal of motherhood. Keep on keepin on :)